O'Malley's
by sirscreen
Summary: High-School fic. Sorta-Sequel to Cream. Collection of one shots about the friends in a resturant. Comedy, drama, Comedy, romance, and Comedy abound.
1. Chapter 1

The friends had taken shelter against the cold snow outside in a pizza place. The restaurant in question was called O'Malley's. It was a favorite hangout spot for teenagers with five bucks to spend on good, cheap pizza and Coke straight from Mexico (oddly, it was cheaper than US Coke and had a higher sugar level). Think a mixture of Irish Pub, pizza place, and Karaoke Bar. The regular patrons gave them no heed. Indeed, O'Malley's had long been a proud sponsor to the Jefferson High MCJROTC, despite the school mascot being named the _"Highlanders"_ and the school anthem being _Scotland the Brave_. They even "adopted" 3rd Platoon, Bravo Company ("Gibbs' Own"), the unit of the group of friends and up for Platoon of the Year. The cadets were so often seen there it was assumed that they worked for the restaurant. Which they did, for fundraisers.

Cam, outgoing Platoon Commander was being promoted to Cadet Captain and being placed on the Cadet Battalion Commander's staff, sat furthest right and was eating a slice as big as her head. Next to her was Kate, Cadet Sergeant and up for commission to Cadet 2nd Lieutenant, who was reclining against Jon Trevodur, newly field promoted to Cadet Corporal. Next to him was Brennan, a Cadet Lance Corporal, and Jon's assistant Squad Leader and rising star on the Academic Team. Furthest to the left was Ziva, Cadet Corporal and the Martial Arts Team Leader. In front of them, Booth and Tony, both Cadet Staff Sergeants and highly respected Cadets in their own right, were playing a game of darts.

"You need to break up with her," Tony advised as he threw his final dart.

"Maybe I give her another shot," Booth said.

"No, Booth, you need to dump her like a poor style," Ziva said as she sipped her Coke.

"Bad Habit," everyone corrected.

"Why is he so apprehensive about this?" Jon asked.

"He's never broken up with anyone in his life," Cam replied.

"That is not true," Booth declared.

"Really?" Tony said, "Remember Stacy Connery?"

Booth shifted as if he were in pain. Brennan asked, "What happened with Stacy Connery?"

"No need to tell that story," Booth declared.

Tony and Cam looked at him as if he were crazy, "Yes there is!"

"I'll begin," Tony declared.

_"Our young friend Booth was in the second grade dating a young fox by the name of Stacy Connery. No relation to the actor, unfortunately..."_

"And you have been obsessing over that since second grade," Booth accused.

"Shut up, Booth, he's telling a story," Jon snapped.

_"One day, Booth deigned to share a Hershey's bar with her at lunch..."_

"She told me she was on a diet!"

"Booth, I will throw this dart at you if you don't shut up and let Tony tell the story," Ziva threatened. And they all stopped playing her and Jon once they realized that it wasn't so much as hitting the bulls-eye for them as it was waiting for one of them to _miss_ the bulls-eye...

_"For the rest of the day, she acted sourly to him. Finally as the final bell rang and all the cute little boys and girls were lining up to get on the bus home, our young friend Booth cornered his princess and demanded to know why she ignoring him. He said that if she did not tell him, then their long, three-day-relationship would be as good as over. She thought of a rebuttal, and then firmly planted her foot into his groin."_

"Ooh!" everybody threw their heads back and laughed.

"And that was the closest Booth has ever gotten to breaking up with somebody," Cam said.

"Not true!" Booth protested, "What about Jordan Micheals?"

"Not going on a second date isn't breaking up with someone, Booth," Kate said.

"Booth, let me demonstrate how to break up with someone," Tony volunteered, "Ziva, you and I are dating-"

"I don't want to date you," Ziva protested.

"Relax, I'm going to break up with you."

"You? Break up with _me?"_ she scoffed, "Please. _I _would break up with _you!"_

"You ever get the feeling that we're not needed?" Jon asked Kate.

"All the time," she replied as Tony and Ziva continued to bicker like an old married couple.

"Sorry, but not all of us can have the rock solid relationship like you two," Booth said playfully to them.

Jon and Kate groaned, "How many times do we have to say it?" Jon said.

"We're not dating!" Kate said.

"Then how do explain him carrying your books?" Cam asked.

"Or the fact that you two ride together to school everyday?" Booth asked.

"Or the fact that you two haven't dated anyone during the time you two have known each other?" Cam said.

"Or the fact that Kate is currently leaning against without inhibitions?" Brennan asked.

"He doesn't have a car and his house is on the way to school," Kate said.

"I carry her books because she gives me a ride- _not like that!_" he protested as Cam and Booth bit their lips to keep from laughing. Brennan, as usual, missed it.

"No one meets our high standards," Kate said.

"Her high standards," Jon corrected, "I'd never hear the end of it if I dated someone bellow them," Kate half turned to him and arched her eyebrow, "You know that's true," she considered for a moment then shrugged.

"And we're comfortable with eachother, so what?" Kate said.

"I think you two got something going on the side," Booth said. Then he frowned and turned to Tony and Ziva, who were still bickering, "How did you get from beak-ups to ice cream?"

"Which ice cream would be the best to break-up with," Ziva said, as if it were obvious.

"I think I just lost two IQ points from that one statement," Brennan snarked. Everyone stared in astonishment at her. She sighed, "What? I _can_ be snarky, sometimes."

Jon tapped his head like it was short-circuiting and said, "You know what, I'm going to _prove _that we aren't dating."

He got up off the couch and pulled Brennan up. Without any hesitantion, he kissed her full on the lips. He twisted and bent so that she was being supported by his arms only, her back parallel with the floor. All talk from the group stopped. He whirled back so that she was standing straight up and ended the kiss. She blinked a few times, stunned. Then she kneed him in the balls.

Jon doubled over and clutched his crotch. The group exploded in laughter, even Brennan chuckled a bit. Tony said, "Just like Stacy Connery!"

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	2. Chapter 2

The three of them, Booth, DiNozzo, and Jon, were at Tony's house. The first two were practicing for the up coming Billiards tournament at O'Malley's. Jon was watching for amusement.

"Rack 'em," Booth said as DiNozzo frowned, wondering just how he lost.

"It's rigged I tell you," he grumbled. Booth was just better than he was to make the games interesting.

"Quit crying," Booth said, "If we lose to McGee and Abby again, I'll hang myself."

"Who knew that math nerds were good at pool?" DiNozzo said.

"Tell me about it."

Jon rolled his eyes and said, "One... two... facepalm!"

"Whaaat?" They demanded.

"I am not even going to begin to tell you much pool relies on geometry," Jon said.

"You suck at pool," Booth pointed out.

"So don't talk," Tony finished.

"I also suck at geometry," Jon said, "Coincidence? I think not."

"Don't you two have anything better to do than to hang with us on a Friday night?"

"Nope," Jon said, "My boss's mother's birthday is coming up, and it will take Immigration at least three days to ship him back to Mexico, and another week and a half to hop the border and get over here. So, I am strapped for cash and need my entertainment cheap."

"Should we be worried that you're illegally hired by an illegal worker?" Tony said.

"I'm not," Jon replied, "What do you think the girls are doing?"

* * *

><p><strong>O'Malley's<strong>

"Double," Abby said, "Left Middle and Right Corner pockets. 2 and 4 ball."

She tapped the cueball forcefully with her cue. The ball raced in a straight line and tapped the 2 ball on the side, causing it to roll into the nearby middle pocket. The cueball changed direction, loosing much of it's speed. When it finally crossed the table to the right corner pocket, it could only just barely tap the 4 ball into the pocket.

Tim raised his eyebrows, "Pretty good."

"Please," Abby said, "That was amazing."

"I don't need shots like that," McGee said.

"Can't make shots like that," she countered.

"Then why am I still winning?" McGee countered.

"Give it time."

Kate looked over to Ziva, "Is it wrong that we have nothing better to do on a Friday night?"

"Very," she replied as they both sipped their Mexican Coke.

"At least Tempe has a girls night with Angela Montenegro," Kate said, "Too bad we weren't invited."

"I still do not see what is so fun about night overs," Ziva said.

"Sleep overs," Kate corrected.

"Don't you have anything better to do than to correct my English?" Ziva demanded.

"If I did, do you think I would be here?" Kate said.

"If you are so disappointed at being alone on a Friday, why not get a boyfriend?" Abby said.

"You think it's that easy?" Kate scoffed, "Abby, you're about a hundred and ten pounds of Gothic happiness and love. You have boys falling all over you."

"Don't I know it," Abby grinned. Tony originally coined the term and Abby instantly gave it her seal of approval. As in, she actually made a document with a custom made _Abby Approved!_ stamp.

"What about Jon?" McGee asked as he expertly tapped a ball into a pocket.

"What is with you guys saying that we're dating?" Kate said, "Besides, Jon's boss is being deported back to Mexico, _again_, so he's broke."

"Are you saying you can't afford a pay-per-view movie and a bowl of popcorn?" Ziva said.

"Are you saying that you couldn't do that with Tony?" she replied.

Ziva had nothing to reply to that. Truth was, she _had_ wanted to do that. They did watch the weekly Movie Night's at O'Malley's. But that was with the rest of the group. By unspoken consent, they had avoided anything that could be considered "date-ish". It was only now that she considered, _why?_

She set her drink on the table along with a $5, "You can finish that," she said as she grabbed her coat and raced out of the restaurant.

"She actually thinks that we're going to drink her drink?" McGee said.

Abby didn't bat an eyelash as she picked up Ziva's drink and drained it. When McGee and Kate did a slight bit more than bat an eyelash, she defended, "It's Mexican Coke! They put so much sugar in it borders on illegal!"

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	3. Chapter 3

"Jon still mad at you?" Kate asked.

"Yes I am," Jon said, his back to the group. He was glaring pointedly at the wall. Cam, Brennan, and Kate rolled their eyes. Booth, McGee, and Abby smiled, amused. Ziva and Tony, the objects of his ire, sighed dejectedly.

"He won't be for long," Tony said, "She paid for gas, I drove, and we split on..."

He dropped a greasy take-out bag on the table, "_Tommy burgers!"_

Jon turned, eyes wide, "Is it... _Original Tommy's?..._"

"Had the shack and everything," Ziva assured, "Double and chili fries."

The couple were nearly bowled over when Jon launched himself at them, hugging them tight. He said, tears in his eyes, "All is forgiven."

He gingerly pulled out a wax paper wrapper and set it on the table. He carefully, as if diffusing a bomb, unwrapped the burger. The group's jaws collectively dropped. It was the most greasy, fatty, unhealthy, and disgusting looking burger they had ever seen. It looked so greasy, fatty, unhealthy, and disgusting, that it was _beautiful_. Mouths were watering.

"You are going to die if you eat that," Kate said.

"I concur," Brennan agreed.

"I think I'm going to cry," Booth said.

Tony took a picture, "This is going on Facebook."

"I think I saw something move in there," Abby said.

"I want your knives after you have your heart attack," Ziva demanded.

"Ditto, on you computer," McGee said.

"I order you not to eat that," Cam said, "I may not be your commander anymore, but I still order you not to commit suicide."

"That is an order that I shall not follow," Jon said. He carefully flipped it over so that the thick chili was under the patty. Then took a big bite, dropping a large amount of thick, greasy chili on the wrapper, "I can taste the growth hormone!"

"What does it taste like?" Tony asked.

"Like an orgasm for my mouth!"

"Can you feel your arteries shutting?" Kate asked.

"Yes!" he made it sound like it was the most awesome thing in the world.

When he finally finished the heartattack confection the group stared, waiting for him to keel over and die. It was Cam who said, "This cannot be legal."

"It probably isn't," Booth said.

**2 Days later**

They were hanging out in the Bravo Company building. Jon entered the room, sat down with his friends and said, "Tommy's has left the building.

The girls, plus McGee, promptly left, leaving the trio there. Tony asked, "How was it?"

"Just like it came in: Big, brown, and full of grease."

**I know it's slightly disgusting, but as someone who's had Original Tommy's, I can say with absolute certainty that is is accurate. So, dirty humor.**

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	4. Chapter 4

Jon rushed in with his guitar. He gently placed it on the stage and rushed out again. Tony and Booth shot eachother looks. It was perfectly normal for Brennan's friends to act weird, but for Jon to do so...

When Jon entered again holding a sound pedal, he said, "I got five bucks HOTHWFP."

Booth understood, "Nope, I say ROBT."

"Oh, Ha ha," Tony said, "Seriously, Jon, what are you doing?"

"Preparing," Jon said as he slipped plugged his guitar into the karaoke amps and slid the strap over his head.

"For what?"

"_That_," he pointed to the door and began to play. Tony's brain slowed down to a crawl.

In what seemed like slow motion, Ziva entered the restaurant. Clad in skintight leather pants and a leather vest that left nothing to the imagination, bicker boots borrowed from Abby that added four inches to her legs, a leather biker jacket over her shoulder. And a fiery look in her eye.

He was dimly aware of Jon playing a modified version of _American Woman_.

"_Israeli Woman!_

_Stay away from meeeee-heee!"_

Booth nodded as Tony's jaw dropped, "Yep, definitely Hit Over The Face With a Frying Pan."

"I am not sure as to the point of the ball," Ziva said, "Aren't balls supposed to be fancy and poosh?"

"Posh," Booth said, Tony still having not recovered, "And the annual Crime Dance is supposed to be a fun thing. Police Explorers, JROTC, and CAP, all dress like crooks and have a good time."

"And our theme was Heaven's Demons?" Ziva asked, "Tony, my eyes are up here," she added, feeling her self-esteem rise.

"Hell's Angels," Tony corrected(his words and vision), "Except for Roy Montegomery," he named the Cadet Commander of the local Police Explorers unit, "His pimp-tastic gettup is a tradition." His and Booth's getup was black t-shirts, black jeans, and black leather jackets.

"I am still not sure why prostitution is illegal everywhere but Nevada," Ziva said, "If you are going to ban it, why not ban it everywhere?"

"It _is_ illegal everywhere in the US," Booth explained, "Thing is, most police agencies operating in Las Vegas aren't worried so much catching the hookers as catching the human traffickers who bring them here."

"Like weed in my native California," Jon said, stepping down from the stage.

"Or Mexican Coke," Tony said.

"For the last time," Booth said, "Mexican Coke isn't illegal."

"It is when Abby gets a hold of it," he pointed to Abby photo on the wall, captioned _Sugar-Free Only!_ Abby had tried getting the restaurant to take it down. After failing to get her own mother and ACLU to support her, she settled on a boycott.

"Special circumstance," Jon said, looking at his watch and climbing onto the stage again. He smiled, "Tony, I got five bucks on ROBT when Brennan gets here."

"I'll take it with Frying Pan," Tony agreed.

"I don't know why you do that," Booth said, "Me and Brennan are just going out as friends."

He heard the door open and turned around to see.

"_American Woman!_

_Stay away from meeee-heee!"_

Brennan strutted down the restaurant like she owned the place. She was dressed in a black fishnet shirt with a black bra underneath, black leather pants and high heeled boots. Somehow, the dark of her clothing made her cerulean blue eyes brighter. Indeed, she obviously drew inspiration from Heather Graham in Lenny Kravitz's music video _American Woman. _Booth's jaw hit the floor. Tony snapped his finger in frustration. It did look like Booth got Run Over By a Truck.

"I do not understand these classifications of expressions," Ziva told Tony, "If Booth indeed was run over by a truck, he'd look to be in pain."

"It's more of surprise," Tony explained, "If you were run over by a truck, wouldn't you be surprised?"

"I'd be more worried about my lack of situational awareness," Ziva said.

"I would indeed be very surprised to be run over by a truck," Brennan said, "And judging from his facial expression and the position of his eyes so that they get maximum view of my breasts, I would say that he is sexually attracted, quite possibly aroused."

That snapped Booth out of it, "Bones, remember that talk we had about what is and is not acceptable to talk about in public?"

"I doubt anyone can hear me over the sound of Trev playing Lenny Kravitz's rendition of The Guess Who's _American Woman,_ created for the comedy film _Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me_," she defended.

"She can remember all that yet doesn't know who P!nk is," Tony observed.

"And besides, with what we are wearing, it would not take much effort to imagine a scenario which would enable you to masturbate," Brennan observed.

Jon stopped playing abruptly and covered the mike, "This is why I hang out with you guys."

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	5. Author's note

** Dear all readers,**

** I thank you for reading this far into my stories. I will not be able to repost at all for the rest of the sumer because I deploy(ed) to MCRD San Diego (AKA Bootcamp) on 11th of June, 2012. I'll be able to repost sometime in September.**

** Semper Fidelis,**

** Sirscreen.**


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